Vote for Me for HubPages Elite

Many acquaintances question my ability to do so, but once in a while I actually try to read something. The other day I was sounding out the words of Patty Inglish, MS, when I noticed an interesting phrase in her profile. She's a HubPages Elite.

I wanna be one too. I want a seat at the big table. When the heavy hitters sit down to parse Olde English Haiku, I wanna be there to brush aside the scraps and mop up the mead. When the Algonquin Hubbers debate third person Latin declensions in their secret lair, I long to wait patiently in the anteroom until they need more Pringles.

Let me tell you why this would work.

• Patty Inglish, MS
  Patty writes professionally in a wide variety of fields. She gets paid to write movie and film reviews.
  
• Shirley Anderson
  Shirley is a published author, with credits in newspapers and magazines. She has her own web site where she markets her writing services.
  
• Zsuzsy Bee
  Zsuzsy Bee writes professionally for several online newspapers and has lived all over the world.
• ripplemaker
  Ripplemaker heals people with her ripples. She provides advice on finding love and happiness and maintains a web site dedicated to helping people realize their potential.
  
• RedElf
  RedElf has degrees in Fine Art, Design, and Directing. She has worked in the theater for many years, with numerous productions to her credit. She is also writing several novels.
  
  
• B.T. Evilpants
  Mr. EvilPants maintains a HubPages blog dedicated to helping hopeful Hubbers. He makes his living as a freelance writer and ekes out a living despite living in Hell (Michigan).
  
• ProCW
  ProCW nurtures other writers through blogs and hubs. ProCW boasts an incredible range of experience in the performing arts.
  

These folks are all incredibly talented artists. They are right-brainy types who roll out of bed composing odes to Grecian urns.

They need a mascot.

They need a dufus engineer who took freshman English and stopped there. Honestly, the only thing I remember from 3 quarters of composition at UC is that engineers tend to write in the passive voice. Other than that, I may as well have been out playing Frisbee on the quad. I took up a seat that would have provided more utility had it been loaded up with Pringles. The only thing I contributed to the class was body heat.

If you've read this far, you're either bored, incensed, or an ESL student. Al I can do is offer you my qualifications; hopefully you can identify with me and you will be convinced to support me in my quest.

• I'm a career Software Engineer and Engineering School professor . This is a clear indication that I've never been to a play, let alone written or directed one. The only culture I have is between my toes.
  
• I have no concept of parts of speech. A dangling participle make me chuckle.
  
• I think Monty Python is high humor. I can't watch The Holy Grail while eating because I laugh uncontrollably until I choke on my Pringles.
  
• I understand sports. This isn't meant to imply that the reigning HubPages Elites don't understand sports; perhaps I should mention that I understand sports other than polo and boccie ball.

I'm not suggesting that any of the current members be bumped. Surely the Elites can scrunch their chairs a little closer together to make room for a harmless fuzz ball who represents the vast majority of their subjects.

I can speak for the struggling writers. I will represent the neophytes who put everything in the same text capsule and steal images from cnn.com. I will mentor the beginners who churn out hubs composed of Bollywood publicity photos. I will patiently explain to entry-level hubbers that alot is actually two words.

My contributions to the HubPages Elite will allow them to focus on Real Writing.

You can aid me in my quest for Elitism by humbly requesting that the HubPages Intelligentsia offer me an endowed chair at the HubPages Elite table. I promise to represent each of you who struggle with sentence formation, idea thinking-up, and left/right mouse clicking.

Thank you for your support.