Leave Justin Bieber Alone

It's not his fault that he's a world sensation who is adored by millions. Leave the guy alone. Somehow his life changed when he posted YouTube videos of himself singing songs. No one suspected that current pop stars would notice him through his little clips. It's all just a happy coincidence. Karma conspired to make him famous.

Don't blame him that little kids with more money than sense insist on filling concert halls, arenas, and shopping mall grand openings just go get a look at him. He's probably cute. Surely he'd rather be sitting quietly in Calculus class than earning millions whenever he opens his mouth on national television. Quit pickin' on the dude.

We can help you recover from your inclination to denigrate this mega-star. Just because his life rocks and yours doesn't rock quite as much, take a few moments to aid him in his quest to achieve ubiquity. If you don't help him, who will?

Like any other normal millionaire teenager, Justin simply wants a little pizza. Instead of hounding and haranguing him, cook up a nice pie for him. He'll appreciate your thoughtfulness and he may send you an autographed sweat sock or write you into his will. It could happen.

Sure, the kid likes pizza. He obviously cannot hang out in the neighborhood Pizza Hut like all the other peeps his age. He could buy the neighborhood Pizza Hut, but that's just not the same thing.

Do you think you know all there is to know about Justin Bieber? Do you think you know more than the screaming, frothing-at-the-mouth, peripatetic teenage girls who populate his concerts?

Think again, smarty pants. Prove your fealty to JB by taking this free online quiz. Ignore the blue dots: those aren't actually part of his face, nor do they float along side his real face when he sings his hit songs on TV and radio.

This challenging quiz presents you with basic Justin Bieber geography and challenges you to click on the corresponding dot. We're pretty sure that almost but not quite no challenge is presented here, unless you have no concept of homo sapien anatomy because you have been watching too much South Park.

You're given the word "neck": click on the blue dot closest to his neck. Subsequent quests include "shirt", "hand", and "lips." Adding a modicum of stress to this free online game is a timer scrolling incessantly at the upper right corner of the free online game. We completed the quiz in 47.2 seconds, then we solved some differential equations for Steven Tyler.

We all need words. Without words, sentences would be just punctuation. Our friend Justin craves words also. You can help him with his words by playing this game that is free and online and includes words.

You might think that a pop star who uses words in his hit pop songs wouldn't need all that many words. You'd be correct, but this game still needs to be played. Somewhere in cyberspace a programmer toiled long and hard in his parents' basement to produce this online free game for us.

Are you looking for a challenge? Is everything else in your life clean and green? Play this online free Justin Bieber game. Our favorite pop star hero needs help picking out his clothes. He can't attend his next awards ceremony or supermarket grand opening without proper attire. None of us want him to appear in public incorrectly garbed.

A fashion faux pas could prematurely end his career before his 19th birthday. What would he do for the rest of his life, beside spend his millions and appear on Reality TV?

Anyway, take a few minutes of your average life to click on appropriate shoes and other clothing-related apparel. Don't worry about price tags. JB can afford whatever you pick for him. Is that a set of rabbit ears above the TV or yet another made-for-TV lifetime achievement award? We can only speculate.