I am Huge in Morocco

Having never been there, I do love Morocco. The Moroccan people love me back. A recent check of my earnings indicates deep feelings and income flowing from that part of the world.

Excuse me while I look it up...

OK, from Marrakesh to Casablanca I am huge in Morocco. They love me there. They read my stuff and contribute to my bottom line.They deserve my admiring recognition, hence this article.

I have not been to Coolvile, Ohio, either, but surely I'd feel at home. After writing an epic set of articles annotating high points of Coolville, the time has come to adopt Morocco as my flavor of the day. Money talks. In Morocco it's calls itself a dirham. You, dear reader, would receive 10 darahim for one US Dollar. I know I would, too.

This is the currency symbol of the Moroccan darahim:

د.م.

In my home town people don't even know I exist on the Internet. I could send up a signal flare and no one would look up from walking their dog or sipping their latte or manicuring their lawn. My fingertips crack and bleed from earnest typing but I continue to earn nothing. Halfway around the world reside my true fans.

Over in Morocco they care little about US Presidential debates or skinny jeans. They work hard every day and they end up with a GDP of about $250 billion each year. Of this they should be proud. In their spare time they obviously read my articles, carefully considering them deep into the Moroccan night.

When they farm, they farm seriously. They raise barley, wheat, citrus fruits, grapes, vegetables, olives, livestock, and wine. I envision families of Moroccans clustered about solid wooden family tables feasting on bread and grape juice as my most recent compositions scroll across the 60" flat screen in the Family Room. Earnestly they divide the wheat from the chaff whilst listening to my articles as read by James Earl Jones or Owen Wilson. Nothing pleases me more.

55 airports call Morocco home. Twenty-four lack paved runways but the remainder offer smooth tarmac. Wikipedia assures me that Casablanca and environs includes 3 distinct airports from which Moroccan aircraft arrive and depart. Should you find yourself traveling to Casablanca, be sure to clearly communicate which of the 3 airports will host you and your luggage. Awkward, it would be, to impose upon your hosts by sending them to the incorrect terminal.

I attempted to deploy Google maps for efficient directions from my US zip code to Morocco. Results were vague and disappointing. I received a map including two continents, clearly indicating the relative locations of me and Morocco, but no directions were forthcoming. Obviously an ocean lies between me and my fans, but Google indicates no easy traversal.

I am a strident swimmer, but I'd probably end up in the Gulf of Mexico or Lake Erie. Plane tickets seem like a preferable alternative.

Asking Priceline to guide me to Morocco seemed like a good idea. I mean, William Shatner traveled gabillions of light-years throughout the universe. Surely he and his company know the way to Casablanca.

Oh, my. No airplanes go from my house to Casablanca.

Priceline let me down easy, but I'm familiar with supplemental online travel web sites. One such site, Expedia, is owned by Microsoft but I wanted to try it anyway.

It worked: a one-way ticket from my local International Airport to Casablanca (CMN) Airport is $2149 and it leaves today. It's a 20-hour flight with 2 additional stops, at CLT and LHR. CLT is in Charlotte, North Carolina. LHR is Heathrow. I have heard of both of those places.

By the time you read this the flight will probably have already left, without me, but you get the idea.

Every country on this Little Blue Marble we call home has a TLD, or Top Level Domain. You may not know that the Internet extends beyond eBay and Amazon and Reddit. In fact, the Morocco TLD is .MA. There are web sites ending in .MA, really.

There is indeed a google.ma because Google owns the world anyway. You can use it: just type it into your browser. Some of the search results will be in French because not everyone speaks 'Murican.

If you find yourself obsessed with Morocco at this point, you can register a .MA domain name here. They seem like nice people. Costs are relatively steep compared to .COM domain names: $68 per year seems pricey. I know that the good people over there are worth it.

In conclusion, Morocco is great and I hope to get rich off it some day.