I Heart Radio

We all have some heart for radio. Growing up on Earth or something like it, we listened to broadcast stations in the car, on the school bus, in the bathroom, and in the back yard. Radio was everywhere and still is everywhere. Invented by a really smart fellow because his cable TV was turned off due to non-payment, radio listening quickly became the 5th most popular thing to do in polite society.

These days, everything has a radio in it. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a radio, and you'd probably break it because product quality isn't what it used to be. The solution? Buy more radios.

Dogs don't listen to the radio, but you can listen to a dog radio.This adorable unit looks adorable on the kitchen counter, where a regular dog would never dare tread. Cats jump up on stuff, but not loyal dogs. Anyway, pop in a couple batteries and look forward to hours of listening pleasure. Music and sports sound especially pleasurable emanating from dog-shaped electronics.

Cleaning the shower consumes far too much time without access to a radio. No one wants to listen to random scrubbing when they could be enjoying talk radio. Solve this conundrum by installing a shower-based radio within easy reach as you attack unsightly lime stains with Earth-friendly organic cleansers. Enjoy a right-wing talker or a sports game broadcast live from a far-flung venue where dirty showers are a distant memory.

Without a car radio, you'd have an unsightly hole in your dashboard. A shower radio won't work unless you hang from the rear-view mirror. Look for a model specially designed to fit into the specially designed unsightly hole in your dashboard. Keep in mind that car engineers stayed up very late and even missed their kids' soccer games to design uniquely shaped radio holes for every vehicle. There is no 'one size fits all' receiver.

We like Crutchfield for quality radio receiver devices as well as accessories. eBay and Amazon also offer appreciable values.

A good thing it would be if your radio actually received a signal and translated it into audible aural sensations, but unfortunately some units no longer get the job done. Sometimes they get struck by lightning or dropped down a flight of stairs or plugged into a 220 volt outlet by mistake. Don't let this happen to you, but it will happen to other folks.

Such radios offer a unique opportunity for learning electronics or holding open a door. Order a broken radio: many electronic engineers and carpenters got their start this way.

Combining chronological capabilities with left-wing talk shows, the clock radio is the Reese Cup of digital electronics. Perch one of these handy devices on your nightstand so you can wake up to news, weather, and traffic interspersed with snappy patter. Look for a device with massive glowing numbers so you can signal passing aircraft from your bedroom.

Hearken back to the carefree days of the 1970's, when CB (Citizen's Band) radio was all the rage on super slabs from coast to coast. Talk to other drivers. Discuss the locations of speed traps and where to obtain the best beef jerky and Diet Pepsi. Hold forth on crucial socioeconomic issues.

It's the original Internet. Thousands of people who will never meet but still have something in common gather together to discuss current events in almost total anonymity.

Electronics continues to shrink as manufacturing techniques improve and our fingers get smaller. Innovative engineering technologies allow us to jam a little radio into pretty much any device larger than a pea. Jump on the micro radio bandwagon by shopping for tiny devices benefiting from tiny radios.

Anything labeled vintage automatically costs more while concurrently offering less functionality. Vintage radios continue this trend. Look for AM-only radios using batteries no longer manufactured and components only available via time-machine. They look cool in a retro-chic style, but reception is dodgy unless you live in an apartment at the bottom of the broadcast tower.

Too busy to shop for batteries? This help. Pump up the volume with a crank radio. Just a few hundred winds of the handy handle provides minutes of listening pleasure without the pesky need for power cells.

The world will end eventually. Be sure you can listen to it on the radio. The Red Cross thinks you should have one: evidently they sold all their Duracell stock.