How too

Can you make a hub? Do you have what it takes to contrive properly contrived words, sentences and paragraphs into Text capsules, interspersed with highly focused eBay product listings? Are you qualified to seamlessly meld quality images with intensely designed polls, videos, and, perhaps, even recipes? Do you understand appropriate comma usage?

Probably not.

Chances are good that your meager hub output will not pass easily through the formerly gaping maw of HubPages publishing. You'll probably find yourself revising your edited revisions in search of approval from faceless editors, many of which are even human. We can show you how, too. We're here to help, but don't get too excited.

HubPages wants your best and you probably can't deliver it. These folks have a massive library of online content recognized worldwide as online content. If you yearn to be accepted here, be prepared to hone your writing craft like an English major at a community college. It's a long hard slog for which few are prepared.

Do you know what Page Rank is? HubPages has a really good one and you don't. If you put up a web site tomorrow it would be immediately saddled with a Page Rank of zero. You wouldn't even get a "1." If you're mathematically adept, keep in mind that the Page Rank scale is exponential: a "6" is 10 times better than a "5." The reason for such scaling is beyond your understanding and you shouldn't tousle your brain over it.

By way of comparison, UC.edu garners a Page Rank of 7. The University of Cincinnati is a highly regarded institution of higher learning where hardly anyone ever gets lower than a 'C.' Educators, students, and administrators have worked together to develop world class web pages envied by everyone with a Page Rank greater than -1. We conclude that HubPages approaches UC as a bastion of web presence. This is just one of the voluminous reasons why you should want to publish on HubPages.com.

A simple Google search reveals over 13 million mentions of the phrase "HubPages.com" across the universe of web pages indexed by Google. They are hardly ever wrong about this sort of thing.

Blessed, you would be, to have your compositions melded into this compendium of mentions. Instead of languishing pathetically on some lonely blog, your words just might become part of the HubPages collective for all eternity. Your friends would like you more and you probably wouldn't have to wait in line at Chipotle any more. Your popularity becomes directly tied to HubPages popularity. That's almost always a good thing.

Read and digest these crucial resources before you even think about possibly considering writing anything at all:

Your goals will be given to you. You're far too unexperienced to come up with your own goals. Traffic increases as each milestone gets surmounted by your ham-fisted writing. Say whatever you want, but say it in such a way that these goals fall by the wayside. It's all very digital and analytical: you wouldn't understand.

700 words is a magic barrier through which you must break. We heartily recommend at least 701 or 705 words and we disparage stopping at precisely 700 because it usually causes a sentence fragment. Sentence fragments will make Google hate your online guts with a burning passion.

An acceptable hub gets to be that way 'cause it has images in it. We know that our readers boast a public school education, else they'd be landscaping their estate before heading off for a spirited game of polo followed by dinner at the club with a Senator's aide.

Put in lots of pictures. These aforementioned pictures must represent the spirit and intention of your words and not the other way 'round. Complicated computer algorithms will compute the variance. If your pictures somehow dissent from your words, be prepared for a virtual smackdown in real time.

How, too, could you possibly expect to construct a properly constructed Hub without at least one poll? A poll allows you to poll your readers. You need to know their minds. Knowledge gained from your readers increases knowledge of potential readers, creating a knowledge vortex of which you will be proud. Inject much time and effort into your polls.

The simplest poll is that which offers two easily understood answers glued together by a succinct and polite interrogatory sentence. This may appear shockingly difficult to novice web writers but you can probably figure it out before too long.

One final hint: build many pop culture references into your hubs. People love to read that stuff. Look for trending phrases in Yahoo News as well as jokes you hear repeated on The Daily Show. Demonstrate to your readers exactly how hip you seem to be. This always works.

It's OK to sell stuff, but not too much stuff. Remember that HubPages is in the business of making money and anything you sell will take bread from their mouths. They hate that.

An eBay capsule or an Amazon capsule will be tolerated. How, too, will you make any money unless you toss in a few items up for sale? We love writing smart and hip product descriptions mixed in with witty product capsules. Our readers don't always agree but they have no taste anyway.