ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Get the Last Bit of Toothpaste Out

Updated on October 13, 2015

Automatic Auto Easy Touch Toothpaste Squeezer Dispenser

This shockingly amazing device makes us optimistic for future the of mankind. Simply tuck in your favorite tube of toothpaste: applied physics does the rest.

It sticks to the wall and it comes with a sticker to stick it to the wall. Everything works out.

Many noteworthy things come from China: this is probably one of them. Order the toothpaste squeezer for all your friends and family. No longer will anyone in your sphere of influence have an excuse to skip the dental cleansing phase of their morning ritual.

Bulldozer

Few machines inspire dental hygiene more effectively than a bulldozer. No toothpaste molecules resist the intense pressure generated by this bright yellow beast. Sure, it's expensive, but aren't your teeth worth it?

We've been using the same tube of brushing paste since 1977: our 'dozer never fails us when it's time for the monthly brushing. We've experienced virtually no dental discomfort whatsoever.

Jumbo Paper Clip

Should you be 1 bulldozer shy in the morning, defer to a mighty jumbo paperclip. Sure, it's ostensibly indented to clutch sheaves of paper, but alternate uses are not illegal as far as you know.

Keep a box of these bent wires in the bathroom next to the baby powder and the staple puller. You won't be sorry. We aren't.

Ignition Pliers

Manual extraction of toothpaste can be achieved through dextrous application of quality pliers. We endorse ignition pliers. We favor the extensive leverage and gripping capabilities. A pair of pliers fits easily into the bathroom drawer leaving plenty of room for floss and retainers. Craftsman pliers rival all other brands. eBay provides an extensive collection of bidding opportunities.

Look for other brands such as Snap On, Mac, generic, and Stanley. No one inquires as to your application. As long as your PayPal account is current, you're golden.

Hiking boots

Deep in the mountains, where bears do their business and the Appalachian Trail quietly wends among old growth forests, it's problematic to find pliers or a bulldozer. Your boots provide a quite handy substitute.

Squeeze the tube beneath your heel to eke out those recalcitrant iotas of brushing goodness. You don't want to have morning breath in the wilderness. Mother Nature will thank you and the bears will leave you alone because they don't like spearmint.

Heat Press

When you're done messing around with manual labor, deploy a high-quality heat press against obstinate toothpaste tubes. Strategic combinations of heat and pressure result in properly populated toothbrushes. Never again will you find yourself lacking in daily Fluoride requirements.

This handy machinery handles any size and brand of tube. It's suitable for an entire dormitory. Share in the cost and benefit from the experience of electro-mechanical engineers.

Summary

No excuse exists for poor dental artrifice. We heartily endorse squeezing the last bits of substance from whatever brand of toothpaste to which you subscribe. It may have baking soda in it. It just might leave your breath minty fresh. It probably has some impact regarding cavity prevention. We're not here to judge.

My contrivance of choice for toothpaste extraction is

See results

Take this crucial quiz, or not.

view quiz statistics
A brushed tooth is a happy tooth. See diagram, above.
A brushed tooth is a happy tooth. See diagram, above. | Source
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)