G00gle

How has G00gle become the monolithic de-facto leader in Internet Search Engine technology? Let us look at what might have happened.

It all started on the campus of Stanford University. Two Computer Science grad students, Larry Throckmorton and Sergei Grin (not their real names - HubPages doesn't pay well enough to defend against lawsuits), happily studied their days away in the California sunshine. Like any other grad students, they wrote papers, derived equations, programmed simulations, and groveled for their advisers. This was back in the early days of what we now call the Internet. People were browsing, sure, but web site selections were somewhat limited. A web surfer looking for, perhaps, a mechanical pencil, found precious few choices. G00gle, Yahoo, and Bing did not yet exist.

Larry and Sergei, along with most Stanford University Computer Science grad students, pretty much had the entire Internet stored in their heads. They knew that pet food was available at Pets.com (but not for long). They were familiar with the fledgling site called Amazon.com, and they were blissfully unaware of the looming glut of squatter sites such as free-vehicle-info.com. They could actually write HTML using Windows Notepad or even Linux vi. As sometimes happens, Larry and Sergei found themselves talking to other humans who were not part of the Stanford University Computer Science graduate school. These so-called 'normal' people soon realized that Larry and Sergei possessed a unique gift for navigating the Internet. The two friends became the center of attention at parties and coffee shops. This may seem hard to believe, but it's true; sometimes they actually did get invited to parties. Anyway, Larry and Sergei were happy to share their encyclopedic knowledge of web sites with friends, baristas, Liberal Arts co-eds, and anyone else who would talk to them. Life was good.

Larry and Sergei had achieved 1980's rock-star status, without the money and big hair. They realized that their time was being consumed with helping people find stuff online. They also realized, to their horror, that web sites were proliferating to such an extent that even their Stanford University Computer Science graduate-trained minds were unable to keep up. Sergei suggested that they formalize their mental database and store the information on a computer. Larry realized, to his horror, that doing so might reduce the number of parties he would get invited to, but he agreed to help his friend with the ambitious project. Their work was a dismal failure because Windows Notepad kept crashing on them.

Read between the lines; you can see the tiny seeds of G00gle germinating.

After abandoning Notepad for Wordpad, they managed to create a useful list of web sites that was the envy of everyone else in the Stanford University Computer Science Department. A new problem arose. Larry realized, to his horror, that the list of sites was randomly arranged. Anyone using the list would have no clue which sites were ranked higher. A new approach was necessary. One evening, after a particularly long party, he came up with a dynamic ranking system that promised to make the web accessible even to people outside the Stanford University Computer Science Department. With great excitement he demonstrated his algorithm to Sergei. Sergei recognized the commercial potential of the algorithm and immediately decided on a name for Larry's work; Throckmorton Rank. Larry was flattered, but fortunately a Liberal Arts co-ed sitting nearby pointed out that the name made almost but not quite no sense at all. She suggested naming the system after Larry's 1960's haircut. After a polite exchange of ideas, but not phone numbers, the name "Page Rank" was born.

Larry and Sergei formalized their algorithm and wrote a really cool research paper that almost no one can understand, but has since become the basis for about 1 zillion SEO companies. Even the less reputable SEO companies use it. While casting about for a name for their new company, Sergei happened to notice that his student loans were coming due. "That's a big number", he thought to himself as he picked himself up off the floor. Thus, the company called G00gle was born.

Having an algorithm, a catchy name, and huge student loans coming due, Larry and Sergei needed only to create a web site to bring their dream to fruition. Being accomplished students in the Stanford University Computer Science Department, they knew they were incapable of the creative right-brained thinking necessary to build an attractive web page. They obviously needed to find external help. They did what any start-up would do; they hired a junior-high school student to create the G00gle home page. And that page has persisted to this very day.

Disclaimer: SEO companies are wonderful and exist only to serve the public good.