Don't Ink and Drive

Keep both hands on the wheel. Resist the urge to ink yourself or your loved ones with this handy kit. Needles and colors are included, but don't use them in the car. Soon enough you'll get where you're going: there will be time to create body art magic once you've powered-down the Prius and set the parking brake.

Hitting a bump tends to disrupt the artistic process. Hitting a guardrail or a flock of seagulls at 75mph (does a Prius go that fast?) will ruin that epic tat. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Drawing on yourself hurts much less than getting stabbed with razor-sharp tattoo needles, but the laws of physics still apply. It's not wise to decorate exposed skin when piloting a 2-ton vehicle, even it if does run on electricity and supposedly save the planet.

These pens provide a handy way to add color to otherwise drab human skin. They come in red blue, brown, green, and black, which are all colors except for black: black is the absence of color. We're not here to argue semantics, but we are here to argue inking and driving.

We all need a little guidance now and then. You wouldn't drive to Myrtle Beach without a map, would you? It can be challenging to stay between the lines without a template. To that end, this authentic set of tattoo pens includes a real stencil that may prove to be invaluable if that's exactly what you want to draw on yourself or your loved one.

It's a hipster pattern resembling Asian calligraphy or symmetric gang symbols or perhaps the logo of a new social media web site. Whatever it represents, don't use it while driving.

Conceivably, inking yourself may not be at the top of your list of things to not do while driving. Perhaps you're more inclined to apply pen to paper. We heartily endorse avoidance of calligraphy while cruising down the highway. Resist the sudden urge to fill out your wedding invitations or graduation notices. Don't use this handy calligraphy set in a moving vehicle.

Staedtler provides superior drawing supplies to artistic travelers on highways and byways across the fruited plain. They want to sell you their stuff but they consequently desire that you remain safe as you guide your motorized mode of transportation. Put the pens and nibs and inks in the trunk. After you've safely registered at the Holiday Inn and put away a hearty meal at Sizzler there will be plenty of time to render things artistically.

Tattooing obligates artistic talent but also requires some knowledge of first-aid. Evidently you're supposed to smear this stuff on your skin before stabbing it with ink-laden needles. Maybe the ointment goes on afterward: we're not quite sure.

Regardless of the order of operations, driving while inking continues to remain a bad idea. Even if your skin is properly prepared to receive inky goodness, we heartily endorse discretion over high-speed body art.

You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile: don't ink and drive.